Pixie DustZanu-PF Harare Youth League chairman Emmanuel Mahachi pulled off a blockbuster escape from prosecution after a daring weekend arrest for the crime of armed robbery. In a plot twist even Hollywood would envy, Mahachi allegedly pilfered a welding machine and generator at gunpoint from Vito Complex in Mbare.
Proving that life imitates comedy, Mahachi ordered a private security guard, Bright Nyausopo, and his maintenance crew to take an unscheduled break from their tasks. When Nyausopo resisted, Mahachi went full movie villain, threatening to unleash his inner action hero by vowing to turn the maintenance man into a character who’d only appear in the sequel.
Undeterred, Nyausopo stood his ground, but Mahachi, not to be outdone, fired two shots into the air, sending everyone fleeing faster than you can say “political plot twist.”
In a classic criminal mastermind move, Mahachi loaded the ‘stolen’ loot into his getaway car and vanished into the political shadows. However, his legal defense, led by the eloquent Oliver Marwa, argued that Mahachi was just practicing self-defense in his own office.
Marwa, showcasing a flair for legal comedy, questioned, “How can one rob someone at his own office?” He even suggested the accused was merely auditioning for a new reality show, “Zanu-PF’s Got Talent.”
In a courtroom drama full of political intrigue, Marwa skillfully convinced the magistrate that this was no ordinary theft but a civil dispute being played out with the police as unwitting pawns. The magistrate, sensing the absurdity, concurred, ruling that the State shouldn’t be dragged into resolving personal territorial disputes – a decision that left everyone wondering if Mahachi’s next role might be a stand-up comedy special.